the soil in my yard made my hands smell like vinegar.
tonight i saw a ghost on the highway and it surprised me so much i stopped short in the middle of 81, was almost rear-ended and my ghostly pally was swallowed up by the light of passing cars. this is the second thing like this in two months (if you don't count that trippy car ride home in the fog a few weeks ago but everything looked like a ghost that night). i hope that chiricahuan apparition hasn't followed me back here to ghost central, ny to hang with all its buddies, although i suppose i would understand.

right now my entire life here in syracuse feels like the end - tying up loose ends, no new beginnings, just finishings. it doesn't feel bad; instead i feel calm - the hardest part is over, after all. it's strange to feel this way in spring, in the deepening green of the grass as the leaves poke their heads out so fast you could almost sit and watch their childhoods unfold in the space of one sunny afternoon.
it's nice to be able to enjoy these things without feeling like a beatup tree myself, waiting for the rain and my hair to grow back. one winter away and i'm not sure i can ever endure another.

actually i'm amazed at how calm i am, life has been pretty much a total shit show since i've been back. things don't seem so bad when you've got your own bed to sleep in.